Re: RBR Research Findings

[William Asher]

Tina Kunich wrote:

> La Jolla, California (5-October) Researchers at the National Institute
> of Rec.Bicycles.Racing have discovered a gene which may determine how
> predisposed people are towards such anxiety conditions as feminism,
> obsessive-compulsive disorder, and parody.
>
> When asked about the implications of finding this gene, Dr. Lynda
> Biking, the leader of the National Institute of Rec.Bicycles.Racing
> team, responded, "Get outta my way, *******! You don't really care
> about the ****ing implications. Do You? Noooooo. You just wanna ask
> me some seemingly innocuous question to catch me off guard and trip me
> up and make me say something stupid that'll ruin my whole ****ing
> career. Don't you! Yeah. I know all about you slimeballs lurking
> out there using anonymous names! You're just out for blood. My
> blood."
>
> According to Tina Kunich, a bitter, feminist, he/she, cynical,
> pessimistic, obsessive-compulsive, anxious paranoid from the Castro
> District in San Francisco, California, who writes a daily lesbian
> column on the internet (the world wide network of computer networks
> and pornography servers), "Man, I knew it! -- I always knew there was
> this cabal of CIA-Mafia Military-Industrial FBI-Moonie ATF Militia
> types who were out to get me -- conspiring since the beginning of
> time to keep the truth hidden from me and from all of us. The truth
> that we could all be happy and cheery, like Lynda Biking, or, at
> least, dynamic and sunny like the Magilla Gorilla. But, nooooooo.
> They wanna see us suffer -- so they can feel superior..."
>
> Though many other researchers in the field appear optimistic about the
> discovery, Dr. Lynda Biking, who also discovered the feminist gene for
> De la Turette's syndrome warned, "That ****ing ******* Kunich is just
> bull****ting. **** his/her piece of **** lesbian satire column. The
> scumbag. He/she's ****ing lying out his/her ass. That ****-eating
> slimebucket doesn't do jack ****ing ****!"
>
> The gene is also believed to cause extremely disturbed people to like
> take newsgroup stories about cold sores and try to trash the ****ing
> **** out of it because they are so ****ing bored with the bull****,
> pabulum, lies, distortions, and politically self-serving priorities
> displayed endlessly, self-righteously, disingenuously and
> hypocritically by the media, corporate leaders and all public people
> and members of all elites.
>
> "With the gene for being an ******* already firmly under our belts,"
> Dr. Lynda Biking was heard to say privately to a female reporter she
> was hitting on, "And now with the gene for being an uptight, paranoid,
> jittery, nervous wreck close at hand, I think we can pretty much claim
> a thorough understanding of all human psychology and all human
> behavior and all human motivation."
>
> Oh yeah. -- According to Louis Pasteur or Jonas Salk or somebody, it
> turns out that "most people, in fact, have the 'nervous' version of
> this gene, so, in the end, it really doesn't mean jack ****ing ****."
>
>
>

Tina:

Are you hot?

--
Bill Asher

[William Asher]

Tina Kunich wrote:

> You are so sexist do you know that? The only time you talk about
> women's cycling is when you talk about women's cycling. Maybe it
> would be better if you talked about the racing!! If I was Laura Van
> Gilder I would personally kick your skinny little ass!!!! You'd
> probably like that, wouldn't you? Do you shave your legs? Do women
> shave their legs? Are you a woman? How far up do you shave your
> legs??? Have you ever shaved your gouch patch???

I dunno what it is, maybe the multiple punctuation marks, but your use of
the term "gouch patch," which normally I find unattractive in men posing as
women on the internet, is making me want you more rather than turning me
off.

In my defense, I hardly ever talk about bicycle racing at all. I post here
because Kunich's mother pays me to play with him. It's good work if you
can get it.

--
Bill Asher