MagillaGorilla
12-31-1969, 08:00 PM
10.) The SRM unit mounted on your CAD/CAM engineered $4,000 bike has the
same drag coefficient as a $14 construction lunchbox from Home Depot.
9.) Calibration takes up precious time that could be better spent
getting your own blood re-infused at the Freiberg clinic.
8.) Comes with coupons for 10% off coaching sessions with any one of
tens of thousands of highly qualified Internet coaches who send you
weekly emails telling you to ride your bike for only $350/month.
7.) Spare batteries take up precious space in the refrigerator which
doesn't leave room for EPO medication prescribed by your vet for your
dog Birillo.
6.) Spend more time analyzing graphs and data on RBR than riding your
goddamn bike.
5.) The Badger won 5 Tours and never used one - you're a Cat. 3 racing
parking lot crits for the last 7 years and you're on your third Power Tap.
4.) Discussion of power data in newsgroups inevitably leads to
mean-spirited posts by a gorilla who tells you to take the ****ing thing
off your rig and threatens to rip your arms out of sockets if you don't.
3.) You become depressed after finding out an F-22 Raptor doesn't have
one and it can go over Mach 3.
2.) After mailing in the warranty card, notice numerous flyers arriving
in your mailbox from pharmaceutical companies that extol the benefits of
testosterone patches and EPO for crushing the competition in the
Pyrennes when used with a medically approved autologous blood doping
program.
1.) Your 16 year old girlfriend named Sophie uses it as a Sybian when
you're not at home leading to questions from breakaway companions about
funny mackeral-like smell coming from your handelbars.
Magilla
same drag coefficient as a $14 construction lunchbox from Home Depot.
9.) Calibration takes up precious time that could be better spent
getting your own blood re-infused at the Freiberg clinic.
8.) Comes with coupons for 10% off coaching sessions with any one of
tens of thousands of highly qualified Internet coaches who send you
weekly emails telling you to ride your bike for only $350/month.
7.) Spare batteries take up precious space in the refrigerator which
doesn't leave room for EPO medication prescribed by your vet for your
dog Birillo.
6.) Spend more time analyzing graphs and data on RBR than riding your
goddamn bike.
5.) The Badger won 5 Tours and never used one - you're a Cat. 3 racing
parking lot crits for the last 7 years and you're on your third Power Tap.
4.) Discussion of power data in newsgroups inevitably leads to
mean-spirited posts by a gorilla who tells you to take the ****ing thing
off your rig and threatens to rip your arms out of sockets if you don't.
3.) You become depressed after finding out an F-22 Raptor doesn't have
one and it can go over Mach 3.
2.) After mailing in the warranty card, notice numerous flyers arriving
in your mailbox from pharmaceutical companies that extol the benefits of
testosterone patches and EPO for crushing the competition in the
Pyrennes when used with a medically approved autologous blood doping
program.
1.) Your 16 year old girlfriend named Sophie uses it as a Sybian when
you're not at home leading to questions from breakaway companions about
funny mackeral-like smell coming from your handelbars.
Magilla